“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37: 7 NIV
I want my blessings now. I don’t want to be patient. I don’t want to be still. I want to fulfill my destiny. I don’t want the blood, sweat and tears. I want my success now but I don’t want to lose friends in the process. I want everyone to like me.
I want to fall in love but I don’t want to experience the heartbreak. I want to put all my worries in the Lord’s hands but I don’t want to relinquish my control. If I don’t complain, what will I have to talk to my friends about?
I want to receive healing but I still want people to be concerned about me. I don’t want to be a victim but I don’t want to say no. I don’t want to confront painful memories. I want my situation to change but I don’t want to do the hard work involved in fixing it.
I want to do what is right but I want what is right to be easy. I want to be a blessing to others but I don’t want to get my hands dirty. I don’t want to have to associate with people who aren’t like me.
I want help but I don’t want to ask for it. I don’t want people to know that I can’t do it all on my own. I don’t want anyone to see me cry. I don’t want them to know I still need a hug even though I have a smile on my face and pep in my step.
My flesh and my spirit are walking contradictions. I want it all. I want my cake and eat it too, and if I can get away with it, I want ice cream on the side. I can’t have it all at once though. Sometimes, I have to wait to eat my cake. I have to eat my vegetables before I can enjoy dessert. I have to allow time for my dinner to digest.
When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, that meant I surrendered everything to him. My life, my heart, my soul and my body are His. I admitted that He knows what is best for my life and I agreed to trust Him to lead me to where I need to go. I decided to serve Him despite what my flesh wants. I have to pick up my cross if I want to walk with Christ. I can live with that, because eventually my Heavenly Father will reward me with cake and I will be able to eat it too, even if I have an occasional temper tantrum while I wait.
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV